#as a victim of emotional abuse i dont like seeing people getting away with it and being encouraged to continue said abuse!!! i dont!!!

[narcissism-awareness]

i feel like you're kinda downplaying the possibility of pwNPD being abusive. your blog has a "oh it NEVER happens" vibe. im not officially diagnosed, but my psych test did end up showing symptoms of it. however, i do have bipolar, and the reality is that i have hurt people and that my mental illness *was* a factor in it. it didnt exist in a vacuum. especially when i wasnt medicated.

like i dont blame people who see me having BP and wanting to move away and call them ableist for that. my mental illness will forever be a factor in the way i experience world - and im not saying OH I WAS AN AWFUL PERSON TO THESE PEOPLE, but i mean it in a way "my cycles of mania and depression have hurt people dear to me, even though i wasnt directly hurtful to them". they couldnt cope with it or my needs and thats okay.

i feel like youre being rly dismissive of people who were abused by people with personality disorders. i was abused by someone w BPD and their mental illness *was* a factor in it. the same way my BP/OCD/BM/ADHD affected others. its dishonest to pretend NPD exists in a vacuum.

I never claimed that it never happens, just in most cases of people calling abuse "narcissistic abuse," their abuser was actually self centered or egotistical and not diagnosed with NPD. (most cases, not all)

It is not ableist to call out abusers who have NPD, what's ableist is to call an entire mental disorder abusive. Or to blame abuse on a mental disorder.

While sometimes we may unintentionally hurt others due to our symptoms, abuse is a choice. People choose to manipulate, use, degrade, and gaslight others. That's not something that happens as a symptom of a mental disorder.

It is true NPD can make us to have little regard for other people and their emotions, which can cause some unhealthy and unstable relationships. But it does not cause us to systematically abuse others?? Thinking that is ableism.

However I acknowledge how you said my blog can feel dismissive of abuse victims. Obviously, in any scenario abuse is not ok. Victims should be able to get resources to escape and recover from abuse. But ableism is not excusable just because your abuser(s) had a mental disorder.

The goal of this blog is to call out ableism and spread awareness about NPD. My posts are usually very matter-of-fact because of this, which may make me sound dismissive to abuse victims. (Keep in mind I am autistic and narcissistic so it's hard for me to judge how others will receive my tone)

I apologize for this and will try to be more welcoming to abuse victims when I can, but the main goal is still informing people about NPD and debunking ableist stereotypes.

[caluski]

this so-called "pop psychology" is a crazy thing. i think it wont be a surprise to anyone if i admit that for years now i have been working through symptoms that also overlap with covert narcissism (obsession with self-loathing, vulnerability to criticism, desire for attention) and while i generally avoid seeking advice regarding mental health online, in my most vulnerable moments i just cant help it.... and when i look up this particular topic, its especially horrifying how demonized narcissists are.

even when you look up "how to recover AS a narcissist", all the results focus on being a victim of a narcissist. to most people, a narcissist is a monster that you have to get away from, who wont ever love or deserve love, who doesnt deserve help even because they just wont get better. if a narcissist seeks help, it means theyve been misdiagnosed after all, because a real narcissist would NEVER want to change. if a narcissist claims that they have been cured, they are also lying as an attempt to manipulate and abuse people further. any narcissist's existence in your life is equal to them abusing you, of course. you are a narcissist forever, and theres no hope for you.

with my ocd, i think i got already used to people assuming intrusive thoughts really make us abusive and violent....... but never being diagnosed with narcissism, seeing my very flaws that haunt me be treated as The Irrefutable Evil, its horrifying like nothing else. am i really making any progress, or am i only getting better at hiding my monstrosity and manipulating people into thinking im a good person? even if i do heal and move past it, can i ever be sure its gone, or have i just mastered emotional abuse? can i ever be redeemed, can i ever get past it? because internet says that a narcissist should never be trusted.... so do i just live with that forever. your existence is bad in its core. your progress is a lie. your empathy is an illusion. dont get close to another person

[walnutcookie]

you should infodump about misfortune like. now /nf

SIR YES SIR . SALUTES.

im not sure how to tag all of this, doing my best but some of it Might be a little disturbing (with cartoony visuals). if you need it tagged with something specific please ask !!

(reblogs ok !)

misfortune is this silly raven thing . it is the Embodiment of misfortune and misery and feeds off of it, which means it is often causing harm to others for its own benefit

Its like . Ten feet tall or something HVXKDBD it can shrink and grow as it pleases actually (so long as it has enough power). Since it wants to feed off of and make someone miserable, it tries to choose its victims to be the most vulnerable people it can find. people who are isolated and dont have much support mostly, but also people who already have a lot of trauma and people dont know how to manage their emotions very well

Cappuccino was a perfect canidate !

i should give some more info about misfortune before i get into that though ,,, using its host/victims body, its able to cause things to happen (stack of papers getting scattered, bookcases falling over, lighting striking dangerously close, people around them getting hurt/even dying, generally unfortunate events). it tries to make things basically just The worst it possibly can be for the person it inhabits so it can achieve Maximum Misery (which is a tasty snack for it ! ). it can also do fun and silly things like cause its victims to grow bird parts - wings, talons, feathers, a beak, combinations of these things, etc - in a very Painful and grotesque way !! which also causes them to feel miserable! though it doesnt want to kill the host so it always makes these things temporary. additionally it can possess people and control their every move, causing feathers to grow from their skin the longer theyre posessed Which they will have to pluck later. also painful.

^ cappuccino growing wings

also Misfortune does not want its victims to die. if its victims die then that means their suffering is over - it would have to find a new host. So it makes the person suffer as most as possible while also protecting them and keeping them alive

that also includes keeping them from trying to kill themselves

using its previous host/victims body (my oc golden leaf cookie at the moment but that may change), it killed cappuccinos parents. For what reason im uh. not sure yet i still need to figure that out HDBFKH but it was Incredibly gruesome and uh. unfortunately little cappuccino was there to watch !

cappuccino's parents were Not nice people. they were incredibly abusive and neglective. cappuccino is like ,, age 5-10 at this time (another thing to figure out) and while her older sister latte was there she Got scared and ran away leaving cappuccino to fend for himself (latte is still fillwd with so much guilt over that bUT THATS A ramble for another time)

cappuccino is an Already traumatized young kid who just watched her parents die and is now all alone and an orphan . and is now going to watch as this giant bird thing claws through its host, causing them to scream out in pain and bleed out to death on the floor as the bird talks to little cappu !!! in spanish because for some reason me and my gf decided it speaks spanish but hey it works out cause so does cappu!

misfortune then crawls inside cappuccinos mouth. which again. is very painful. And very disturbing especially as a child

cappuccino lives with this thing for like twenty years, vaguely aware of its existence yet still filled with doubt. He knows she has bad luck either way and tends to isolate herself as to not harm others !!! all of the friends he made in school had bad things happen to them so hes become paranoid about getting too close to people. hes basically just accepted that shes not capable of doing good ,,, anything he tries to do just ends up going bad anyways. Which is why hes become a prosecutor !!!! you see Misfortune naturally gives her an advantage since giving innocent people (or anyone for that matter) lengthy sentences and other punishments causes a lot of misery and feeds Misfortune quite nicely ! it doesnt exactly Garuntee cappus win like. she still has to work for it. but he does get an upper hand (unknowingly) as misfortune encourages it. the reason she smokes a lot is because it helps him not feel so anxious and paranoid constantly that bad things will happen to everyone she cares about

theres a lot of habits hes picked up after dealing with this thing for so long. no cars/buses since hes been in FAR too many car crashes. keep pencils/writing tools dull as he tends to accidentally stab herself a lot. dont bother keeping places clean and tidy since theyll become dirty somehow anyways

cappuccino has a vague memory of misfortune. though since it was so long ago and also During a very traumatizing moment his mind has kind of distorted it to be some incomprehensible monster that appears in her nightmares. is it real? is he just imagining all of this? when wings grow from his back, is she hallucinating it? is something causing all of this bad luck, or is he just imagining everything? he cant tell if its real or not . she KNOWS something is wrong because it seems like life itself is determined to keep her from being happy. the thing is misfortune constantly lives inside of her ,, hes never seen misfortune aside from that very fuzzy (and distorted) memory from when he was a child. finally he Cant Take it anymore and just talks out loud to himself, trying to talk to whatever it is keeping him from being happy - again, not knowing if anything is actually there.

But there is !

And she is horrified as it starts to crawl out of his mouth!

theres a sense of relief and reassurance as At least now he knows its not all just his imagination but also. holy fucking shit. its not her imagination.

its all real. the memory from when she was a kid. hes being haunted by this Fucking Thing (which she realizes is a bird and not an incomprehensible monster) and its effectively ruining her life. it speaks to her - he figures out that it feeds off of his misery and that its been doing that for the past 20 years. And she just has to live with that

-

I could go on ,,, theres more to it actually but this post is getting Very long and i want people to Actually read it HXBDKHD

(UPDATE PART 2 HERE)

if you have any questions/comments PLEASE let me know i love talking about this thang !!!

[ruthlesslistener]

Oohhh I get it now. But tbh if I'm going to be honest, at least proshippers hide their stuff away in their respective dark areas/behind safe walls and even tag and warn people about the dark content they make. Antis dont, they just invade places and engage in the said dark content just to get mad at it. At least from my own experiences from them. Idk I just see most proshippers as responsible in managing what they make, while antis don't. I actually got a taste of dark content from antis myself as a kid, in a lot of callouts made by antis lololol. And not because the proshipper were demanding their content be known. Its been like that even now actually, where dark content gets shoved in people's faces purely because an anti is trying to act like a hero. Though this is just my experience with them.

Another thing if you wouldn't mind, is that while it's true that dark content can lead to a lot of things in real life. I personally see that it has to be allowed to exist, because dark content shows the dark realities of life and that we shouldn't just leave it/ignore it. I seen victims of abuse for example, who had their experiences validated from reading dark content/about their abuse in stories. Or like the fact that a certain famous entertainment company doesnt want to show blood in their content because of "violence" in shows where kids and adults are watching, where some have pointed out that not showing even a small proportions of what violence can do (blood) will lead to a very naive understanding of the consequences of violence. Shocking because this is a western company, and the TV show in question involves guns and... you get the idea. Don't get me started on censorship and how that can get out of hand so easily.

I don't think I'm explaining this well but yeh. Dark content is needed and should be allowed to exist in my personal views, but should still be allowed to exist behind close doors and away from people who don't want to see it. You can delete this ask if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm just trying to put my two cents into this convo. But yeh, I prefer to live in a world where dark content exists and not one where its nothing but "wholesome" and "pure".

.

[Tone: calm and neutral]

Oh no yeah I agree with you 100%, this is my exact stance on things and is a mirror to most of my experiences- hell, I like exclusively dark content and part of the reason for that is bc I came from a psychologically/emotionally (and sometimes physically) where 'we're all just a big happy family and you're ruining it you little freak' was a big problem. Stuff that's just pure and wholesome actually makes me feel uneasy and on edge all the time because I always feel like the other shoe is about to drop, while horror is comforting because I can read the situation and know what's happening. Part of the issue in my household also stems from the fact that my dad has an issue with differentiating fiction and reality (he suffers from untreated ocd and paranoia and a whole slew of other issues), and he used to blame the stuff I was reading for making me 'disrespectful' and 'cold' whenever I dared to have a negative emotion- hence me just seeking out more and more fucked up shit so that I could vent my anger without getting cussed out (though it also was bc I wasn't allowed to watch anything over a G rating til I was fucking. 16.). Without going into more detail, he used extremely similar tactics to antis and that's why I have such a strongly negative response to them, discounting all of the times where I had nasty run-ins with them. I very much hate all of them and it is because I had to deal with people like them my whole life. It wasn't fun.

I have very few actual squicks, and if I'm in a curious mood I'll also read stuff even if it disgusts me- and hell, sometimes their are exceptions. Captive Prince is a series I'm very fond of full of rape, csa, incest, and psychological abuse, but the reason why I love it despite the content is because it is a very compelling story about how horrible all that abuse is and how deeply fucked up it can make a person, as well as how awful the victim can seem when your pov is being manipulated by the abuser. The problem I have isn't content-based as much as it is the people, and, to the lesser extent, the tone of some of what they make.

See, what soured me on proshippers aren't people who are quietly making darker content and posting/tagging it properly (those are just normal writers and artists imo), I'm talking those who proudly proclaim themselves as proship, aka the vocal few balls deep in The Discourse who make it their whole personality trait. They're mostly centered to Twitter rather than Tumblr nowadays, but the problem with said vocal minority is that they are. Well. Extremely fucking annoying, entitled, tone-deaf, and just overall awful people. Almost everyone who proudly flaunts that they're proship is so balls-deep in the discourse that they feel personally victimized by anyone who shows any negative reaction to the gross shit they're into bc that automatically means they're a puritan, when sometimes it really is just an expression of disgust. Twitter proshippers are a whole different breed than Tumblr ones after the porn ban, but unfortunatly I keep getting their arguments shown to me when I'm on the site scrolling for furry porn and its...bad. It's real fucking bad. Not as bad as antis half the time but certainly not much better in how they treat people and their personal boundaries.

It's also the people who will take content that's pretty fucked up and spins it through a fandom lens that also gets me, though most of the time I just block and move on with a bad taste in my mouth instead of getting actually angry. And by 'fandom lens', I mean people who will take a rape/abuse/etc situation and then go 'oh but what if they're a couple with only a few pokes at the fucked up elements in canon. Ex, some (admittedly few, but they exist) people ship Mohg and Miquella as a reciprocal pairing despite it being a kidnapping and nonconsensual body modification incest-for-power situation, and that just...it feels so wrong. It's just so shallow and such a bad take read on a complex situation that I cannot stand it, it makes me want to run the opposite way. I have zero authority to force people to not do things ofc, I'm not a fucking cop, but those people give me the vibe of someone who'd not help you out with an abusive partner because 'oh but his posessiveness and controlling nature is just so cute, and he clearly loves you so its okay!' and that rings the alarm bells of someone that I do NOT want to be around even if it logically means nothing.

Does that make sense? It's a convoluted mess, but I hope I made it more clear that it's not so much the content that bothers me as much as it is the people and how they use it.

[burning-sol]

im censoring any art i make of "her" and limiting reblogs because i do want to make vent art but i dont want to share a lot of details <- but if i dont share details it might make people feel wrong to later have interacted with any art featuring her at all. and i did make a post abt her in the past but it wasnt my intention to give the wrong impression of her because id genuinely experienced amnesia and couldnt remember the details about her. to be clear she's not real, she's not representative of any person in real life, i would describe her as a mix of my psychosis and what i recently realised describes maladaptive daydreaming.

i have been getting very very paranoid recently so ive been talking to xander and hy said he's going to help my get back in contact with a therapist when it gets the opportunity. i dont know how my behaviour has been perceived at all the past (???) amt of time, but i apologise if its caused confusion or distress.

anyways ill be talking about her under the cut with art but content warning it goes into talks about psychosis and emotional abuse and some transphobia and SA <- the art is evocative of that last thing i put it at the very bottom of the post. there's also talks about grooming..

i do have records of when she was first around but i only really looked at it to see how i drew her as i have a lot of amnesia around her and i dont like looking at old logs of things.. like. the thing is, there's a lot of stuff that happened online or i had uploaded online and i would rather let it remain forgotten rather than drag it back out. maybe its selfish of me but like i seriously dont want to think about the times i might have been groomed or the specifics of anything, i just want it all to go away. so yeah, i forgot about her and forgot about what she said or did because i wanted to forget and it didnt come up so it was whatever.

but there was a time where i was experiencing some different voices, ive had a track record of abusive voices throughout my life (to be clear xander is very different from that, to me it clearly has a wider depth of emotion and thought than these voices and actually has control over the body.. i just feel like i want to make that clear) and she was amongst them though i think she was different in her own way. the main reason i feel so scared of her is that i experienced a sexual hallucination perpetrated by her and i had to search up whether that was even possible because i have not heard anyone bringing it up before. but yes, that happened, and i dont claim to be a victim of sexual assault but it's still painful to think about and im still scared of her.

aside from the i guess "threats" of sexual interaction and recently threatening to leak sexually compromising information and photos of me, she is generally quite demeaning. she talks a lot about how i should just go back into being a complacent girl who does what she wants. she threatens to isolate me. i guess she's also threatened to hurt me physically too. its not real but at times it has felt like i am in literal chains and are at her whims and it makes me feel scared.

i dont know if its clear but there's a lot i dont bring up when it comes to any sexual trauma because i just. i dunno. i dont feel like any of it is worth talking about if im complicit in it, if its in my head, if its just nothing. things ive been involved in are deeply humiliating and hurtful. and of course i cant HELP but bring it up at times, as any person does, but out of everything i dislike talking about this trauma the most. id rather be quiet and not talk about anything and hell, i probably wont keep this post up.

a part of me realises it probably just hurts others that i dont talk to them about things like this. but talking to someone privately abt when im distressed makes me think about my previous toxic behaviours and i dont want to repeat that ever again, so i prefer to just stay quiet.

just typing this has made me exhausted from the emotional drain so ill stop this post here. thanks.

[lemontongues]

just saw the ed piskor stuff and i dont have a ton of thoughts on the particular situation (honestly had never heard of him before) but the whole thing does just make me think about like. how much we as a culture desperately need to get better at developing procedures for handling situations where someone did or may have done something terrible, especially when we know they're not likely to face legal repercussions for it.

bc like, if you think about it imprisonment is rly the easy way out on a cultural level, bc the outcome for everyone not directly involved is "the person just Goes Away to a place where someone else is responsible for feeding and clothing and housing them and none of the rest of us have to grapple with the fact that theyre still actually a person who is going to keep on existing no matter how much we dont like it." but in a lot of these cases where its issues of sexual harrassment or emotional abuse or whatnot that are traumatizing to the victims but arent likely to even go to court, much less result in any jail time, like.... asserting that the morally right thing to do is to completely exile this person from society and that anyone who continues to support them is equally monstrous is just. not a functional strategy.

its the same reason why the aclu advocates for the rights of sex offenders yknow, like. actually creating groups of highly ostracized ppl with ruined lives doesnt help anyone? it makes it harder on victims who want to come forward (both because of the guilt some will feel over bringing those consequences down on their abuser and because everyone knows the kind of vicious backlash the victims will get from defenders of the accused), it breeds the awful public litigating of ppl's lives that we see every time allegations come out and everyone and their mother has to jump in and make sure the internet knows they have the Right Opinions on this situation that in no way shape or form involves them, and it can result in situations like piskor's, which is just a lose-lose all around.

like there absolutely should be consequences but a) imo we really gotta focus more resources on actually caring for and supporting victims than on punishing the accused anyway and b) a scorched-earth approach doesnt help anything and there needs to be more thought and nuance to the consequences than "we're kicking you out of society and anyone who doesnt immediately sever all ties with you should be ostracized too". sometimes ppl should lose their jobs if their jobs gave them structural power over the ppl they abused, sometimes maybe its not necessary. they're inevitably going to lose a lot of people in their lives when allegations come up because a lot of ppl will just find it repulsive to be around someone they think may have abused others, but maybe their friends shouldn't all have to immediately cut ties or risk being seen as guilty by association. etc etc. it just sets everyone up for a lot of additional suffering and trauma and i dont know what the right solutions are, but man i would rly love to start seeing more conversation around actual best practices and mitigating the gut-reaction lashing out from uninvolved parties on both sides

[kendylouwhoo]

As I turn inward and practice what I preach, I look at all the ways I've blocked out energies and what they have to teach. I never have had an issue "finding good men" most people want to be good. Finding a man who cares, has emotions and is physically there. I feel gross, how we put people in boxes, so I ask myself where that happening for me and it becomes clearer and clearer to see. Some have felt more hurt by the masculine energy. Not me, I realize, the grudges I hold, where I turn away and pretend it's not there, the pain I've felt that I want to pretend doesn't exist. I haven't had an issue finding a man... yet where are all my sisters? The friends I've had, the ones who were there, they too coped by being more masculine. It felt safer having that energy in a world such as this, but this is not how I find my bliss. I've blocked out the feminine because it hurt so bad. The hidden secrets, the lies the telling me I'm mad. I'm not sad I'm not doing it right, get out of my sight. The subtle manipulation. Telling me it's not them it's me. Pointing the finger at me, like I'm the only bad power that be. The hidden competition, you pretend doesn't exist. The cages everyone pretends aren't real. Yeah the feminine controls too and then hide it from you. The feminine never disappeared, wheather is was regresses and repressed, it just got really good at hiding. It controlled from behind the curtain and played the victim, stood there lying. It said your crazy, I'm not the problem. Look what you've done to me look how you have hurt me, look at you not me. Look how mean you've been look how selfish you are look how much I've done and you've done nothing. Look over there so I can enforce my hidden agenda. Put pressure on you and use you to keep playing out my abusive story...

And I see it now so blunt and so clearly. The walls I've put up have been around me. Locking away my own key, my feminine parts, not all, but the ones I deem unworthy. Oh and the guys, it's not them the narcissistic men I've felt hate, though I have used that word to try and seal their fate. It's not the masculine that's physically hurt me that I can't forgive. Or the ones who pushed and pushed until I gave in. Or the one that yelled until I numbed out... ok yes of course I've felt that hate but it was easier to heal within, because I can see it. I can see the hurt. It's the hurt I can't see that's been much harder to heal for me. How can you heal, when you've been gaslite into not believing it's even real? Your mind starts playing tricks and telling you lies, when before you could see the veil, now you also see a disguise. What ones real and what ones not?

And there it is. The anger boiling up. You lied to me you kept your love at bay. You were so scared to be wrong or bad so you made me your place to lay. Lay all your trash. The things you don't want to see. The things you don't want to do, someone else's problem, not you. Fuck I'm so mad... damn. I'm so hurt. Why did I let this happen... because it was me that didn't want to see. I didnt want to see all the things others denied. I didnt want to see all the things where people lied. Because when you see all the things people dont want to see, they dont hate themselves they hate me... at least thats been my story. Blocking these parts out from me, because they hurt me the most. The parts where you go crazy and call in the ghost. The ghosts that whisper in your ear you're wrong, you're bad and don't be queer. Don't listen to your truth, listen to my expectations instead. Fuck, that's what I blocked out, the feminine energy, all the dread. The narcissist that hides behind a wall of manipulation. The one who seduces you only to take what they want from you. I see it now clearly. Talking behind your back to make people more leary. Stay away from that person, don't get too close. Hiding the hurt they cause, so you can't have the most. I've kept women at bay, because I'm fucking scared of them ok! Feminine narcissism is so hard to spot. It's so hidden and and covered by giving. If I give of myself then no one will see that the giving isn't giving its a trap set up by me. To catch the fly. Oh my! I once was told, "I love you like a spider loves a fly" and now I see why... why I've blocked you out. Why I don't feel safe around you. Why I've made a Hartwell so no one else including myself can get in. I'm not blocking out the men. I'm blocking out the women, like me. A story in my mind, women are scary. Don't get too closer or they'll chop off your arm and before any one can see they will sew it back on and say the scars are because I did it to me. Damn. These stories. This fear of the feminine. I realize it's not just men who have hurt women, but all along, the feminine never lost their power. The story that men supressed women, I'm not sure it's all true... Regardless, I'm ready to write an new narrative, what about you?

Ok lets not jump to the new story yet. Dont bypass thinking we can just forget. Lets bring on the pain lets bring on the sorrow. I don't want to block you out any more, I want to look and see. How have I been what I say they all be? You know why I think people don't admit they are wrong? Because it fucking hurts. Hurtting others hurts yourself. The saying you can't hurt someone else with out hurtting yourself, I mean literally if you're not cut off from emotion, hurtting others feels like drowning in the ocean. You can feel the hurt you've caused and you can also feel the torment of how could I have done it. I never wanted to hurt anybody. And now I feel their pain and mine, yup I feel the torment. This is what taking responsibility feels like when you've crossed the line. And the clear it becomes, when you blame you are hidden. Hiding from how you've also hurt another person. If you judge someone else, it's surly in you. No matter how much you hide it no matter what you want to see, the only way through this is to feel, feel me feel them and love all of thee.

Ok I'm ready. I want to take down the walls. I want to see what I tried not to see. I'm ready to feel the hurt and pain and find the real me. I want to forgive the men, stop the stories I make of them. Realizing that what I blocked in those men were actually their feminine. I want to open to the beautiful flowers I feel all around. Bloom into the fullest, from head connected to the cosmos and all the way into the ground. Pachamama teach me how to share my healthy feminine. Father cosmos train me how to stay balanced. Spiral within me dancing, twirling and whirling like strands of DNA. Father, mother and me makes three. I want to be free and I realize that freedom is seeing all the traps I've set for me.

[gay-furry-poseidon-lover]

"dont pick and choose" where is this enthusiasm for any other crimes that are blantly stated as happening in the musical?

Epic the Musical isnt meant to be perfectly accurate to the original poems. In Epic, we get "seven years shes kept you trapped out of your control, time can take a heavy toll." And then Calypsos songs from her perspective. They are emotional songs, thats like... what musicals are supposed to do, make you feel stuff. Lots of people dont interpret Epic Calypso as a rapist, because its not explicitly written to send that message.

Are we gonna talk about The Odyssey or are we gonna talk about Epic the musical. They are different. "people like Circe," In the Odyssey, Odysseus did not have a choice to sleep with her. He had to. Its not that people just suddenly dont care that she assaulted him, its that Epic is showing us a different version. And Epic's Calypso is shown differently as well.

"I spent my whole life here, was cast away when i was young, alone for a hundred years, i had no friends but the sky and sun," This is what we get about Epic's Calypso's back story. That is different from versions of the myth where Calypso just goes and lives on an island.

However you feel about her is fine, youre allowed to not like her, to hate her even. But this is a fictional character based on a fictional character in a poem from a very long time ago. These arent real people. Odysseus is not on the internet, hes not reading posts about people analizing Calypsos character in a musical and feeling victim blamed or retraumatized. And if you relate a lot to Odysseus and that makes you hate Calypso thats fine. Not everyone sees her in your same context though, and thats not an attack on you. If this is something that is so distressing to you, block people who post about her, hit not interested, stop engaging with it. Take care of yourself. But you don't get to just decide that nobody can like this character ever, and that if they do they're a bad person who thinks rape is okay.

Works of fiction aren't real. Obviously I think that killing a baby is horrible, whether the gods told you too or not. But I still love Ody. That doesnt mean I dont care if people kill babies. I enjoy Zeus's character and songs even though he forces Odysseus to choose between the life of his crew or his own, which is like definitely immensely traumatizing. Enjoying his part in the musical doesnt mean i think thats good?

A lot of characters from greek myth have raped people. But we have the understand that obviously that is bad and wrong, and we would never be fans or sympathize with abusers in real life. At least I do. I havent seen a bit of discourse about Zeus (one of the most famous aggressors) or about any other gods. People enjoy them freely, and thats generally fine.

Why is Calypso treated so differently. Like i don't think anyone is literally arguing that rape is good and its okay that Homer's Calypso did that, nor are they saying that to any victims in their life. And if they are, obviously thats bad. But people just enjoying this character isn't.

May I just point out that calypso is apologising (no matter how backwards it comes off ) only when Odysseus was finally freed by someone else from her.

And that until then she was still actively pushing Odysseus’ Boundaries??

Lighter mot or no she kept this man against his will for seven years. And she didn’t GROW UP on that island. She had a life before that— that led her to be trapped by the gods.

Like she IS a sympathetic and tragic character but let’s not act like she’s innocent.

“for seven years she kept you against your will”

THIS DAMN LINE. LISTEN. BLOODY LISTEN TO IT ALL. DONT PICK WHAT YOU CHOOSE.

There’s a REASON people don’t have an issue with Circe. Are happy to see her as a FRIEND to Odysseus. CALYPSO IS NOT THE SAME CASE.

[maurenislife]

Ive had so many near death experiences that im numb, so living out everyday becomes very surreal like am i even supposed to be on this timeline? That nigga coulda took my life away….. and i wish he did cause now my existence is merely fixture and very much a joke cause im 99% guaranteed to make to tomorrow so people rag on me all day, make me feel inadequate and insecure and feel alone FOR WHAT? I WISH THAT NIGGA BLEW MY HEAD OFF for a infinite rest.

When you live against social norms your gonna be the brute of scrutiny and negativity yet everybody’s copying u and asking you for advice and money and status and up ur asshole but yet slicing it apart with a butcher knife.

Im a INFINITE BUFFET of culture,thought and prowess.

Im smart, im beautiful, im funny, im memorable.

Ive had to echoed to me throughout that im someone of value, how come it dont feel like it. How come it feel like im waking up to put lipstick on a trashcan 💔 like im washing a used car in the shower.

If i didnt have my job like my coworkers dude or my grandma idk what id do fr

Those two things keeping me here, i love my coworkers they are so nice to me like i never had people cook for me or ask me how i am or give me hugs like or care about my family life yanno.

Also idkkk ive been told I played victim my whole life. Whole time i am. Im a victim of sexual assault of emotional abuse and a constant victim of being shown no compassion no empathy nobody.

Its like a arena of people watching you get beat on, with a bloody nose and tears in your eyes, and theres a podium for speakers

“Your playing victim” as somebody watches u get raped at a party ….. yeah that type of shit

U think u can hurt me my mom has paid her dividends in full my baby 😪

Then it be ya friends

Then it be ya nigga who u lay next to

Its like who gone turn against me now?

It make it so i dont want no friends, i dont want a nigga, i dont wanna raise my own family. I dont have a goal or a lifetime achievement i wanna reach, i dont wanna go anywhere fr why plan vacations… why do anything. If there is a consequence leaning around the corner

You hurt and hurt and hurt and nobody kinda cares. It’s hurtful the pple who know u the least want u around, like wow i play a insignificant role in your life u want me alive idkkk that shit weird as fuck. I see why pple just idk they like this life shit backwards fr

[the-debunk-anon]

I’m so disgusted right now

I didn’t take this shit seriously because I’ve seen Bones do this stuff for years but when their father actually made that post on his Instagram I was worried - I stepped away from this blog for a few days because I needed to step away from the action directly for the sake of my mental health, though I had a trusted friend keep me informed of any major details (case in point)

I hope those server mods are ashamed. They might not be the ones faking the suicide, but they’re enabling and reinforcing it, which is just as bad. YOU! ARE! NOT! HELPING! YOUR! FRIEND! BY! ENCOURAGING! BAD! BEHAVIOR!

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I know personally as someone who was in my mid-late teens when I watched su, it really mattered to me to get to see a show that said parent figures aren't just right because they said so, and you DO deserve an apology when they hurt you, but one that also had the nuance to show that while you deserve reconciliation and apologies for being hurt by them, they also act with their own reasons and not usually out of a callous disregard for you. Like yes it obviously doesn't flat apply to full on abusive parents, but to parents who were neglectful without really meaning to be or being unable to do anything about it (like, parents who needed to always be at work or who couldn't be there for you) it's actually very relatable and well calculated. Ngl I think some people just dont know what to do with media they don't directly relate to or immediately understand. I did also see a lot of su criticals who tried to claim the show was about forgiving abusers for this exact reason, but I think you only really get that interpretation out of it if you think all media should be about you specifically

In all honesty, the diamonds really did show three different types of parents who are incredibly toxic and damaging to their children without meaning to hurt them.

Yellow is a workaholic, and holds a very strict no-nonsense attitude. She didn’t make time for Pink or treat her problems as legitimate until it was too late, but she did still very clearly care about her. She didn’t let her emotions show to anyone, least of all to herself because she saw them as an obstacle to what needed to be done.

Blue is her polar opposite, she suffered greatly from a loss and (in this case, correctly) blamed herself for every part of it while never actually processing or overcoming her grief. By not taking care of herself, she lashes out at others and cannot move forward. Before Pink was shattered, Blue was indignant, disdainful, and quick to take out frustrations on Pink when she felt “embarrassed” by her not conforming to their expectations.

White was condescending and more dismissive than the other two. Quick to belittle and intimidate to get her way. She loved Pink, yes, but more in the way one might love a nice coat. She was a perfectionist and projected that need to be right and perfect (literally) on every other gem, the other diamonds most of all as they are implied to be of her own creation. Her ego and inability to accept being wrong (or by extension, those she created doing what she decides is wrong) cause her to force Pink to fall into a role that she was never really suited to. She saw Pink as one of her greatest failures and something she needed to either fix or hide away.

All three of them together formed a very deeply toxic and emotionally abusive relationship towards each other and to Pink most of all. A few people take issue with Steven “forgiving” them as they misconstrue it as a victim forgiving abusers, but at the end of the day Steven is not nor was he ever Pink Diamond. He was mistaken for her and felt some of what she experienced because of that, but he was not a long-term victim the way Pink was, in a lot of ways he was an outsider who had context of the situation and wanted to step in to keep them from hurting anyone else.

More to the point, he doesn’t forgive any of them. He calls them out on their toxic behavior and tries to get the point across to each of them that the way they’ve been living isn’t healthy for anyone, and is actively traumatic not only to them but for everyone they hold power over. The end of the series sees him teaching them how to atone for some of what they’ve done and to help others heal, but he doesn’t stay with them, nor does he invite them to stay on earth despite extending that offer to just about every other gem he encountered. It’s established in the movie that he almost never visits any of them outside of his activism and subtly making sure they aren’t regressing into dangerous people again. In the epilogue series he is shown to be (rightfully) distrustful of Blue and Yellow as well as being openly afraid of White. He helped them feel closure for Pink and repaired the relationship the three of them had, and that was it. Even if he had been in that abusive environment for as long as Pink was, that isn’t an unreasonable response. Some victims of (unintentional!) emotional abuse do find catharsis in confronting their abuser once safely out of that situation and expressing the way that behavior harmed them. Some victims genuinely do want their abusers to become better and healthier people when the abusive traits stem from their own trauma or lack of emotional intelligence. There are other victims in the show who completely sever ties with their abusers and never interact with them again, so this wasn’t trying to push a narrative that victims MUST do that, it was giving people language and strategies to approach these conversations if that is something they want to attempt.

This was another of my famous rambles, but I suppose in conclusion I would say: whether SU crits liked it or not, the final arc of Steven Universe was absolutely helpful to people in toxic home environments. It also served as an allegory for queer children not being accepted by their parents for who they are, and how changing your perspective as a parent and accepting your child is legitimately a healthier option for everyone because to do otherwise just ensures you will lose them in every way that matters.

There’s just a lot of important takeaways from that arc, especially for children. I’m incredibly tired of seeing grown adults whining about it because they chose to take it literally. Well done on missing the point of a show for middle schoolers I suppose, but idk if you really just want to see all villains get killed for their villainy just go watch Breaking Bad or the lion king or something. There are plenty of shows where violence is the answer, there’s not any real point getting furious over one of the few that don’t use that as the ultimate conclusion.

[devilith]

hey @venusianenvy did u know that LOADS of people who ship incest ships and create art/fics about fictional incest are actually irl incest abuse survivors? do you understand even the most basic, simplistic definition of "cope/vent art" or catharsis? but even if thats not the case, you better get comfortable with the fact that incest has been depicted in fiction and human culture for tens of thousands of years (looking at the greek gods, for starters) and some of the most mega-popular mainstream series in the history of media are full of incest (ever heard of game of thrones?)

the fact is, abuse victims are allowed to be uncomfortable at ship art of some fictional anime siblings. no ones telling them they arent allowed to be squicked out or whatever. but its THEIR responsibility to click away if they see it, block the tags, and/or block the artist. it is NOT the right of ANY victim to police and control the artistic expression of other people, sorry. i know for a FACT that you arent going around and screaming "BUT WHAT ABOUT VICTIMS OF VIOLENT CRIME OR MURDER?" on every post about hannibal or horror movies. if something triggers you, its YOUR responsibility to manage your emotional reaction. this is literally the first thing youll learn from any therapist. your triggers are up to you to manage, no one else. i bet you arent sending your hilariously wrong, bad faith performative outrage to george rr martin or stephen king, right? i promise their books have been read by 10000000000x more people than some niche anime fanfic on ao3

this attitude is the same kind of bullshit that christian bigots pull whenever they demand that queer books and queer shows be banned because "it will ruin the brains of our pure innocent children" lmfao. if you dont want to see it, dont fucking look at it. block the artist and move on with your life like a normal person

@radfemsiren thats because radfem ideology is rooted in the same exact fundamentalist, puritan conservatism as actual literal fascism. radfems literally expouse the same exact garbage rhetoric and moral panic as the pro-censorship far-right. read literally anything about the history of art censorship in fascism and the nazi party and youll see exactly where radfems are religiously parroting the same exact puritan ideals. theres a reason why so many white supremecists and nazis always show up at radfem public gatherings, and theres a reason why those nazis are welcomed among radfems with open arms. when every single public gathering/protest embraces the nazis who turn up to support you, you should ask yourself why that is

@blind-seeing fandoms are dying for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the hostile and aggressively puritan environment people are desperately trying to turn it into. when every single attempt at artistic expression, whether it be through fic or art, is stamped down by performative moral outrage and artists are constantly harrassed, attacked, threatened, and suicide baited by terminally online puriteens, do you really wonder why nobody wants to make art or fics any more? do you really wonder why nobody wants to engage with fan communities or talk about the things they like, when everyone knows that an army of wannabe cops are foaming at the mouth waiting for the chance to jump on anyone who likes drawing two fictional cartoon characters the "wrong way"?

hey do you guys remember when like. brother/brother and sister/sister and brother/sister ships werent just normal, they were really common? parent/child ships werent as widespread as sibling ships but you still saw both of them a lot. like you used to see incest ships all the fucking time.

like you couldnt go five minutes on this hellsite without scrolling past wincest or thorki or any number of the dozens of popular hp incest ships. do people not remember the onecest takeover? the onecest dynasty? what about elsanna? what about all the fontcest that came out of the undertale fandom? mha fans loved shipping the entire todoroki family together. what about game of thrones just in general? the hitachiin twincest? literally everyone from osomatsu-san? usuk and all the other incest ships from hetalia? fucking HOMESTUCK?

it used to be that you couldnt throw a rock in ANY fandom without hitting a whole bunch of super popular incest ships. it was everywhere. it was NORMAL. because people didnt care about what anyone else liked in fiction, because everyone knew the difference between fantasy and reality. and its not like incest hasnt been one of the most popular porn categories all over the world for years.

now though, with the huge resurgence of evangelical puritanism in western fandom and the massive influx of alt-right christofascist antishippers, nothing is allowed to just be fiction any more. braindead little conservative assholes and bigots will scream and shit themselves over people shipping the elric brothers because fandom isnt allowed to be fun any more. antis will see someone talking about sebaciel and start spewing their disgusting rhetoric at everyone and being TERFS and wannabe cops until nobody wants to participate in fandom any more.

fandoms are dying and its antis fault

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[bookofmirth]

frankly i dont understand that anon about cassian. because he absolutely defends nesta multiple times throughout the book. and apologizes for the 'everyone hates you' comment. he tells rhys off for being an asshole to nesta several times, he says that nesta has the right to know about her made weapons. ill agree on the lake scene. but i really dislike the take of 'cassian is borderline abusive to nesta because he snaps at her for saying intentionally nasty things' . when she says those things to be cruel, knowing that theyll get under his skin.

im not saying that nesta is always at fault because she definitely is not. but again its this weird thing where nesta is always the victim to some

I did lie a little bit in my last post, yes I am team female characters but Cassian and Lucien are honorary members of that team. Okay and Helion. But that’s it.

I think the intention is a big reason why people do or don’t like Nesta. Yes Nesta had trauma and mental health issues but there are a lot of times when she is very intentionally saying things that hurt people. She’s not just rude, she’s cruel. And this isn’t just acotar, this continues through acosf. Like you said, she’s not just pushing buttons, Nesta is like gleefully doing an emotional keysmash. Okay maybe not gleefully because we do see that she’s conscious of what she’s doing and doesn’t necessarily want to react that way.

I’m gonna be completely frank here - I would intensely dislike Nesta if I were to meet her irl because I don’t ever see a need for cruelty. She’d say something to push me away and I’d be like “ok bye then!” I know this will make people side eye me, maybe more than my post blasting the fandom earlier today, but it’s just how I feel!

I don’t really have a point here in responding to you 😅 I guess I try to understand everyone’s opinion of the characters. And it’s been a while since I read acosf, like I said in my last post, so I should reread before getting more into thoughts on nessian in that book.

A few more thoughts, there is a reason it took me three weeks to reply to that ask - when I first read it I really violently disagreed but I wanted to be fair to the anon so I waited. @symphonyofbleedingshadows can verify this 😂 I also don’t think that, much like the Archeron sisters, there needs to be a contest between the characters? Like who is more right than whom? Their relationship is complicated, honestly it’s probably more complicated than feysand’s is. I see a lot of conflict in their future and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. As someone who has been in a long (long) term relationship, if fights were always about winning then the relationship would have gone nowhere fast.

[gentil-minou]

Warning this is gonna be extremely rambly and long winded. Thank you for your patience <3

As someone who has experienced abuse, I love the sentimonster theory.

In truth I'm actually very similar to Adrien, We have both lived an entire life under emotional abuse. I mean we have the same hair too but thats irrelevant. Now our situations aren't one to one but our trauma responses and the way our trauma has changed us is nearly identical. The only glaring difference is that he is an overly altruistic dork where i became cynical and sarcastic. Relentless optimism, 0 self preservation, jokes constantly,

We are both incredibly passive and his triggered response about being a burden and how he goes about that is the same. I see a lot of myself represented directly in Adrien, and it means a lot to me because you don't often see emotional abuse portrayed on tv, much less for boys.

I have been able to remove myself from my bad situation and have for the first time seen what its like to be free of constant emotional manipulation. I am learning how to be normal and the reactions and systems i've built up for myself. Everyday I feel like a fish out of water because I also have to learn how to be normal.

Just like Adrien I don;t really know how to talk to people or make friends, what a normal reaction to conflict is, who I am and figuring out my identity. I am constantly learning new things about myself and i act like a lost puppy, because i truly am.

The sentiAdrien theory in my opinion doesnt invalidate his abuse, it is a plot relevant reminder of it. It shows what it is like to be abused to someone who either hasnt been or doesnt realize they have, (much like where Adrien is right now). The feelings of no control, no identity or purpose. It also gives Adrien a physical reminder of his own self in the future. A ring that shows that he is in control of his destiny.

I love the theory and how it can help younger viewers, or normal viewers, and even our characters understand just how emotional abuse works and affects someone.

It completely changes the way your brain is wired and your perception of things. You feel like you have no control, and are hopeless. Thats why you develop intense optimism.

Now this show has come to me at an important part of my life, right when I was leaving my situation and moving away. When you are abused by a parent or authority figure that you cannot simply avoid and/or rely on theres almost stages of trauma.

When you're like adrien you're in the thick of it and don't realize the impact on you. Once you leave and your brain starts to stabilize only then can you realize the truth of it. I think that many of the people who dislike the theory do so because it reminds them of things they dont want to think about, and relate adrien having a path of acceptance and love ahead of him might get a little jealous because it felt/feels uncertain to them.

It upsets me a tad that people hate the theory but thats whatever. I really like it and I am very interested to see where they go with it. Up until this point I am very satisified on how they have portrayed adriens character and his reactions. I think the show does a really good job of showing emotional abuse in a kids cartoon.

I hope they never redeem gabe, and i'm riding on the kids show aspect to get that happy ending. I am worried on adrien's future with having no parents, and I do think emilie is somewhat evil and might wake up from her coma.

I really enjoy all your meta analysis and read every single one. I love hearing you talk about these things from an educated standpoint and show how this theory isn't inherently harmful to abuse survivors/victims.

It really gives me hope personally to read your kind words and shout out to my best boy Adrien <3

Anon I have to say, thank YOU for sharing your inspiring story and journey with me. It was truly one of the highlights of my day.

I don't have much to add on besides to agree with what you said, because I also think sentiadrien offers valuable insight into the complexities of what it's like to heal from this sort of trauma and how hard it is.

It makes sense to me why some people hate it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I definitely have some of mine that would be controversial. What's important to remember is that, like you said, Adrien is going to be okay because the show will have a happy ending for him. And he will likely be stronger too, just like you are for being able to speak your truth <3

I also hope Gabe rots in jail, but I think Adrien will be okay in the future. He has Mari, and Plagg, and Tikki, and Nino, and Alya, and Tom and Sabine, and an entire army of friends (and fans) ready to support him. And I think even if he doesn't seem okay, he will continue living and moving forward because he would have shown how strong he is to be able to move forward from a traumatic situations. (Just like you, anon <3)

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.